aunt lindley's story.

        Aunt Lindley’s memory of Nicolai’s arrival:

Throughout the labor things would happen that would make me wonder if Kim was going to have a csection.  Nicolai’s heart rate kept dipping after a contraction, which they call “lates”.  They like that to happen during a contraction but not after as it means there is some sort of stress on the baby.  They had Kim stand up which seemed to help for a while.  Then they’d have her switch which side she was laying on.  Then really late at night after 1 am maybe her temperature went up.  The nurses debated if it was a trustworthy temp because she didn’t feel hot so they took it again.  They never said what it was or if they trusted the second time they took it.  They kind of acted nonchalant, but said they were going to go talk to Cassie. 

Not much happened for a bit which was rare as Kim had been throwing up and needing backrubs before the epidural.  Then just threw up one more time after the epidural and seemed to be resting well.  So was David, so I decided to go home and check on mom and Tyden who were hopefully sleeping. Ryan had to work overtime that night. I thought I might get some sleep in bed rather than the hospital chair and they were going to call me back with ANY news at her next measurement. As I was leaving Cassie was sitting at one of the computers at the nurse’s station monitoring Kim and Nicolai.  She asked if I was leaving and when I said yes she said they’d call with anything.  She told me she really didn’t want to do a c section.  I told her Kim wasn’t as stubborn as I was and just wanted what was best for Nicolai.  She let on that he was having some funny things happening but didn’t say much so I left about 2:30 am. 

At 3:30am Dave and I were all dressed in our disposable garb and waiting outside the door of the operating room where Kim was being prepped.  I had rushed back when they texted that it was looking like a c section.  I remember Kim was calm and seemed relaxed as they wheeled her out of her labor room.  As we waited the doctor and Cassie and one nurse went in along with some others I think.  Nicolai’s nurse introduced herself to us and said she’d be there to help with the meconium when Nicolai was born.  She told us they weren’t going to make him breath and cry when he was born because they didn’t want to make him aspirate the meconium in Kim’s amniotic fluid. She said we shouldn’t worry if we didn’t hear him cry.  She said also not to worry if he did cry right away on his own. I remember thinking Kim was so tough and she was going to be ok.  I hoped the same for Nicolai but wasn’t worried although there was wonder in the back of my mind for some reason. 
As they worked on getting Kim open to pull Nicolai out they kept saying how well Kim was doing.  Kim said she was feeling pressure.  I was standing up watching everyone but not looking at the incision.  David and Kim were holding hands and talking to each other.
 When the doctor and Cassie went to pull Nicolai out he didn’t come at first.  They got up taller and pulled more.  Kim said she really felt this pressure now.  Then the doctor asked Kim’s nurse for a vacuum.  I remember she seemed frazzled and not sure which to get.  The doctor spoke forcefully and directly trying to guide her to the right one.  This made me wonder what was going on that they needed a vacuum in a c section.  I still don’t know.  They got Nicolai out and I tried to take a quick picture as they pulled him out but the camera had gone black and didn’t reset quickly enough for the fast pass over to his waiting nurse on the warming table in the corner diagonal from us.  They were calling out words and codes a bit.  I think I heard them suctioning him out which I had thought for some reason due to meconium, they weren’t going to do.  At some point I think Cassie said he was stunned.  I think it was pretty soon after or as they pulled him out.  On the warmer they were getting more rapid in their movements.  We hadn’t heard a peep out of Nicolai but knew to expect that.    I remember them bagging Nicolai.  They got a tube down his throat and pumped air into him.  Then they started chest compressions.  This really scared me and I worried he was stillborn.  I had been praying throughout but was desperately praying now. At some point they pulled the code blue cord on the wall and a bunch of people came rushing in the room.  There were codes being shouted and people seemed frantic.  I remember looking at Cassie and the doctor lady’s eyes.  They were big.  Cassie kept looking down at her work on Kim and then over to Nicolai’s corner and then back down at her work on Kim.  She looked scared and like she was wondering.  
Kim and Dave were still holding hands and talking.  Such a strong couple.  I was so impressed by their strength together.  Kim was saying, “we love you no matter what” to Nicolai.  I grabbed Kim and Dave and prayed for breath and strength and abundant life for Nicolai.  I was so afraid he was dying and I wanted him to live so badly.  It was such a desperate and despairing feeling.  It seemed to be taking several minutes and those minutes felt so long.  I just kept asking God to save this little boy and I was imagining the wonderful life he had ahead but also fearing the worst.  The only person that ran into the room with the alarm who seemed calm was the only guy in the room besides David and Nicolai.  I later learned he was a respiratory guy in the nicu.  His calm was helpful.  No one was really saying anything to us except the anesthesiologist who eventually told us Nicolai was looking better.  We later heard from Kim’s nurse that she couldn’t pull herself together enough to give us updates.  Eventually they had Nicolai stable enough to wheel him out of the room and stop by Kim’s head so she could see him for the first time.  He was all tubed up and had a tube to help him breathe.  They let David go with Nicolai which had been the original plan but then there was question whether he really could or not.  It seemed like a good sign that he was able to go. 

I stayed with Kim while they got her sewn up and stabilized.  Dave sent us a picture so we could see Nicolai.  There was a shadow Kim was sure was a hairy nevus.  But wasn’t.  Kim was pretty worn out and once we got to the recovery room she began to tell me who and what to tell.  Then she got nauseas but we were alone.  Luckily there were barf bags behind me we got just in time.  I pulled the only type of cord I could find and lots of people came running because it was the code blue alarm again.  I didn’t know how else to get help but apparently the nurse was just ready to walk in.
I was so happy when Kim got to go see Nicolai for the first time.  She was so tired and out of it and throwing up from her medicine and the motion of the bed being wheeled around, but she got to touch and kiss and talk to Nicolai.  David was by his side most all the time and they were finally together as a family with Nicolai out in the world. 

1 comment:

  1. Lindley, i love that you were able to be there to document birth story. Little nicolai was so loved before he came into this world and is so lucky to have such an amazing family to love him as he grows :)


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